I really don't have anything important to say.

We are called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding.

http://www.twloha.com/the_story.php

 I volunter every sunday morning at my church with the little kids(a program our church calls KidMo). I absolutely love it. I voluntered, thinking I was going to have the pleasure of teaching these crazy cool children of God, and found that I am the one being taught. It is rather remarkable how random things are revealed to you when you least expect it... but God is amazing in that way.  

Working with little kids is absolutely different then I would have ever expected. I have been helping at KidMo for only a couple of months now and it ceases to astonish me how much I learn from

a program designed for kids. But I guess, well, I'm only a kid after all.

I woke up this morning for KidMo after only four hours of sleep. With a cup of coffee in hand, I hastily left my house with a bad attitude. Needless to say, Ari was not in a happy mood.

Today, the lesson to be taught to the children was "filling the empty seats," or rather, telling people about the truth of God by showing love. Some of the breathless responses and remarks from the children were mind blowing. It is weird how someone so young in age can be so intelligent. It was like they had all the answers. They were so sure in themselves and so excepting of everyone... it was truely inspiring. Their innocence was strikingly beautiful.

Their bubbely smiles and silly laughter melted away my bad attitude and I felt really ashamed for my dreadful behavior. It is ridiculous, how selfish one can be. I always talk of wanting to be self-less and humble, yet I fail to put actions behind my words. I am a letdown to myself. I truely want to be more like Christ. I really do want to be able to look into the hearts of others. I want to be able to overcome focusing on their flaws and see them as beautifully as God does. Is that even probable? Does it matter? I want it. I want a soften heart. I want to show love, and give love, and have love, but I have got to stop making empty promises. It's time for my actions to follow my words. It is so much easier to say this then actually do this. But I am no better then the people I judge. My best moments are nothing but filthy rags when compared to that of Jesus. I want to start living in truth.

I'm disgusted with myself. There is no way I can justify my actions... no worthy exscuse. Once again, I have caused myself to stumble over my own pride. It's time I got off my high and mighty horse and truely humbled myself before the Lord.

I live such a privileged life and I am so blessed. It's urgent that I remember this, always, and I must stop asking for the things that are meaningless. Here I am preaching about how selfish the world is, and I fail to mention that I am just as terrible. So I admitt it. I am nothing. I am a sinner. I am no better then anyone on this earth. Kids my age are so nit picky. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be who I have been. So here's a list of things I am committing to do to lead me to the path of humility. It's not a lot, but it's a start. Right?

1) Know God

2) Read the word more.

3) Tell people I love them more then I have. It's important that they know how much they mean to me.

4) Give A LOT more then I have been. 

5) Spend more time appreciating my fmaily, friends, and life.

-ari

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
After You
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

-the fray