I really don't have anything important to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99yfE32gTw8

I urgently incourage you all to watch this video. It is about the horrible suffering of thousands of children in Uganda. Each night, children from all over Uganda walk miles and miles and miles into the main city. They are greeted by unsanitary and dismal conditions and are packed into small rooms. There is not nearly enough space for all the children that make a daily treck into the city in hopes of living through one more night... but that is all the government has.

Rebels are trying to take control over Uganda. After not being able to recruit the adult population of Uganda, the rebels have turned to abductiong children in the night and forcing them into a malicious army where they are forced to kill.

The Uganda government has continually sought out America to help... yet there strife and sadness has yet to even make it into our news room.

Please, this April 28th, a group called Invisiblw Children is sponsoring an event to try to make the American community more aware of the ugly life thrust upon the Ugandan children. On the night of April 28th, cities all over the US will be meeting at a designated area to discuss theproblems of the Invisible children and ways to make the US government help these children in desperate need. Afterward, we will spend one night sleeping outside on the streets.

All you have to do is go to http://www.invisiblechildren.com and sign up at the city nearest you. It costs NO money. These children face death every single day... living seems like a miracle and hope is far away. Every night, they go into the city praying that they and their family may live just one more night... every night...All I'm asking for is one...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Nelson Mandela

Superbly said. Maybe I should try it?

 I volunter every sunday morning at my church with the little kids(a program our church calls KidMo). I absolutely love it. I voluntered, thinking I was going to have the pleasure of teaching these crazy cool children of God, and found that I am the one being taught. It is rather remarkable how random things are revealed to you when you least expect it... but God is amazing in that way.  

Working with little kids is absolutely different then I would have ever expected. I have been helping at KidMo for only a couple of months now and it ceases to astonish me how much I learn from

a program designed for kids. But I guess, well, I'm only a kid after all.

I woke up this morning for KidMo after only four hours of sleep. With a cup of coffee in hand, I hastily left my house with a bad attitude. Needless to say, Ari was not in a happy mood.

Today, the lesson to be taught to the children was "filling the empty seats," or rather, telling people about the truth of God by showing love. Some of the breathless responses and remarks from the children were mind blowing. It is weird how someone so young in age can be so intelligent. It was like they had all the answers. They were so sure in themselves and so excepting of everyone... it was truely inspiring. Their innocence was strikingly beautiful.

Their bubbely smiles and silly laughter melted away my bad attitude and I felt really ashamed for my dreadful behavior. It is ridiculous, how selfish one can be. I always talk of wanting to be self-less and humble, yet I fail to put actions behind my words. I am a letdown to myself. I truely want to be more like Christ. I really do want to be able to look into the hearts of others. I want to be able to overcome focusing on their flaws and see them as beautifully as God does. Is that even probable? Does it matter? I want it. I want a soften heart. I want to show love, and give love, and have love, but I have got to stop making empty promises. It's time for my actions to follow my words. It is so much easier to say this then actually do this. But I am no better then the people I judge. My best moments are nothing but filthy rags when compared to that of Jesus. I want to start living in truth.

I'm disgusted with myself. There is no way I can justify my actions... no worthy exscuse. Once again, I have caused myself to stumble over my own pride. It's time I got off my high and mighty horse and truely humbled myself before the Lord.

I live such a privileged life and I am so blessed. It's urgent that I remember this, always, and I must stop asking for the things that are meaningless. Here I am preaching about how selfish the world is, and I fail to mention that I am just as terrible. So I admitt it. I am nothing. I am a sinner. I am no better then anyone on this earth. Kids my age are so nit picky. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be who I have been. So here's a list of things I am committing to do to lead me to the path of humility. It's not a lot, but it's a start. Right?

1) Know God

2) Read the word more.

3) Tell people I love them more then I have. It's important that they know how much they mean to me.

4) Give A LOT more then I have been. 

5) Spend more time appreciating my fmaily, friends, and life.

-ari

This morning, I woke up to the sound of the fog horn silently beeping in the distance. I shook out the coldness that stiffened my body and sat up in bed thinking. What a change these last couple of days has made in my life. Is it possible for a person to change so significantly in such a short span of time? In God... all things are possible.

When I signed up to go to Hume, I was going in the hopes of running; running from myself. As I hastily ran from the problems and follies I had caused, I ran straight into God. This past year... these past couple of years, have been a huge trial. I made the decision to accept Christ into my heart a year ago, but I never followed through with my vow. Such betrayal is sickening. God has continually showed me love, forgiveness, and grace, yet I flirted with temptation and kissed death right on the lips, throwing everything God gave me right back in his face.

Yes, this past week I escaped- escaped from all the lies I allowed the world to feed me, and was forced to truely see myself. God gave me this week to reflect of who I have been and who I should be... what I am capable of achieving. As I sat in the small coffee shop, Hume Bean, with God's glory surrounding me, I jumped off the cliff I was trapped on and fell through my sick mind. Spiraling through my thoughts, I was able to truely see who I was and what a fake I have been.

This whole time, I have been playing at a masquerade ball, dancing with deception and hiding behind a captivating dress of falseness. All this time, I allowed myself to believe that the mask I was wearing could hide my troubles and mess ups.

I was drowning in the ocean of my own mendacity. The waves came crashing down, and I was to tired to continue to swim under the crashing waves of my falsehood. I was chocking on my own dishonesty.

The clock struck twelve, and Cinderella was expossed as the soiled maid she truely was. As my mask fell from my face and shattered on the door, the waves stopped tossing and the storm calmed.

How is it that something that appears to be so easy is incredibly difficult? All God was asking me to do was admitt to my denial and trust Him.. He just wanted to see me as I truely am... no more lies. I had gotten so used to watching history repeat itself. I was so used to allowing myself to get hurt that I could not see the true beauty that was stairing me in the face.

Up at Hume, I met God face to face... without my mask to hide the true repulsiveness that I am. In his eyes, I found the back door to the universe, and saw truth in the constellation of His heart.

All God wanted was me... He wanted me. Even with all my filth, sins, and confusion, God wanted to love me. So God, I come. Take me. All of me. I want to be Yours... and only yours. I come empty handed and broken. But Father God, I trust You. I want Your love to be enough. Jesus... You are enough. You are.