I really don't have anything important to say.

Words could not express all that I experienced on my amazing trip to Costa Rica. It was like fairy dust was sprinkles on me, and I took flight to never land. I never expected I would be given what I have recieved.

I should have wrote all these feelings down sooner. It's hard to pull such memories from my own mind now.

I'm sitting in my photography class at the moment. I sould be looking up black and white portfolios, but I can't. I can't think right now. Can't process anything. I am just here. Just here, taking up space, unable to think. It's like my mind is void of any vaild thoughts and I have lost a part of me that I used to charish. Or maybe that little girl inside of me is just sleeping. I'm not sure anymore.

I guess, right now, all I can say is that I was deathly afriad that once I returned back to California from my mission trip, I would be no different- just the same ari that plagued the earth and had no purpose, or rather, a purpose she refused to fufill. It's hard to admitt that I am desperately clinging onto what I learned and went through this summer so I don't lose myself in familiarity and lies.

I regret to say that I am not moving forward. Nor am I even moving backwords. Time has stopped and I am at a stand still.

I need to break free.

I need healing.