I really don't have anything important to say.

Have you ever been standing in a crowded room and felt completely alone? My weird mood has not left, and it appears that it is planning on visiting my mind for a while. I want it gone, to be quiet frank. I can't stand it. I can't stand me. I'm becoming the type of person I hate.

I desperately need to speak with someone, but, yet again, I am at a loss for words. I am so laquacious, but never say enough. It's annoying. Today, I had coffee with my youth leader, someone I usually tell everything to: what's bothering me, what I'm struggling with, and what's on my mind. I began to open up to him, but when it came down to it, I kept my mouth shut, fearing that he too would be disappointed in me like everyone else I know.

The truth is... I'm a liar. I am struggling so bad. I feel like I'm scarcely hanging on.

I've been walking aroun with a cloud following overhead, raining non-stop, and I purposely left my umbrella at home. I feel stupid. I feel insecure. I feel like I am just one leggo used to build this leggo castle, someone pulled me out, and just shrugged their shoulders and said, "oh well, I got another one."

Completely replaceable. Frustrated. Inapt.

I am trying to hard to stand by the commitements I made. I am terrified of failing. I am wrestling with myself, and I'm getting tired.

I've turned against myself. Or, well, it feels that way. Sell-out to the max.

I'm under pressure to find just one thing that I am good at, and it has been a long search with horrible results. I feel nothing short of inadequate. I've found that I am easily forgotten.