I really don't have anything important to say.

This morning, I woke up to the sound of the fog horn silently beeping in the distance. I shook out the coldness that stiffened my body and sat up in bed thinking. What a change these last couple of days has made in my life. Is it possible for a person to change so significantly in such a short span of time? In God... all things are possible.

When I signed up to go to Hume, I was going in the hopes of running; running from myself. As I hastily ran from the problems and follies I had caused, I ran straight into God. This past year... these past couple of years, have been a huge trial. I made the decision to accept Christ into my heart a year ago, but I never followed through with my vow. Such betrayal is sickening. God has continually showed me love, forgiveness, and grace, yet I flirted with temptation and kissed death right on the lips, throwing everything God gave me right back in his face.

Yes, this past week I escaped- escaped from all the lies I allowed the world to feed me, and was forced to truely see myself. God gave me this week to reflect of who I have been and who I should be... what I am capable of achieving. As I sat in the small coffee shop, Hume Bean, with God's glory surrounding me, I jumped off the cliff I was trapped on and fell through my sick mind. Spiraling through my thoughts, I was able to truely see who I was and what a fake I have been.

This whole time, I have been playing at a masquerade ball, dancing with deception and hiding behind a captivating dress of falseness. All this time, I allowed myself to believe that the mask I was wearing could hide my troubles and mess ups.

I was drowning in the ocean of my own mendacity. The waves came crashing down, and I was to tired to continue to swim under the crashing waves of my falsehood. I was chocking on my own dishonesty.

The clock struck twelve, and Cinderella was expossed as the soiled maid she truely was. As my mask fell from my face and shattered on the door, the waves stopped tossing and the storm calmed.

How is it that something that appears to be so easy is incredibly difficult? All God was asking me to do was admitt to my denial and trust Him.. He just wanted to see me as I truely am... no more lies. I had gotten so used to watching history repeat itself. I was so used to allowing myself to get hurt that I could not see the true beauty that was stairing me in the face.

Up at Hume, I met God face to face... without my mask to hide the true repulsiveness that I am. In his eyes, I found the back door to the universe, and saw truth in the constellation of His heart.

All God wanted was me... He wanted me. Even with all my filth, sins, and confusion, God wanted to love me. So God, I come. Take me. All of me. I want to be Yours... and only yours. I come empty handed and broken. But Father God, I trust You. I want Your love to be enough. Jesus... You are enough. You are.